Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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