doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize