Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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