Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize