I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize