I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize