Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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