i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
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i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
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Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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