woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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