It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize