You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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