how can u be prego again
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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