The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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