My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize