We're facebook friends in real life
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
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