Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
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new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize