I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize