instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
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On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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