Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize