I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
we should paint friendship bongs
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