I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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