ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You pole danced in your parka.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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