I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
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Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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