so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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