I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize