yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize