I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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