The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize