i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize