Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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