one two three fourrrrnication!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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