i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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