"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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