Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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