Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize