he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize