what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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