I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize