It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
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Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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