i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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