nut hugger
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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