the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Who died my cat blue again?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize