I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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