anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
that may or may not have been my penis.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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