party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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