does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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