did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
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Are my feet made of real feet?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
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Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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