just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize