you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
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The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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