i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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